Shopping Hazards
I remembered this event from last summer – thought it would be fun to share.
One of the hazards of shopping for me is trying to remember where I parked my silver SUV. This is not a problem except in parking lots where there are a gazillion silver SUVs of varying brands that ALL look exactly like mine … that is, until I walk closer and realize mine is parked somewhere else. Sheesh!!
I've decided it's easier to just bring the boys shopping, then I never have to remember anything: they tell me where the car is; remind me that we're out of yogurt; suggest I buy more cheese; tell me the amount and type of lunch meat they will eat; and always think I'll fall for... "Mom, we remembered an item down this aisle -TOYS." Yeah, right.
Thus, goes the shopping… unless it happens to be a particular bright, brisk Sunday morning and I am shopping à la carte: No kids. No make-up. No hairstyle. No list . . . uh, no shower.
There are only two reasons I'm at the store prior to a shower and church clothes.
I need a latte, and I have no milk!
Oh no, I don't plan to buy a "three-dollar" drink. I'm just buying milk – to steam and pour into the most amazingly fresh hot double espresso liquid I brewed about 15 minutes before my shopping trip… exactly the amount of time it takes to realize I have no milk, don't care about no shower, and drive away from the shots of espresso, which now sit on the counter, patiently awaiting the steamed milk as a partner in perfection for my frugal latte indulgence. Mmmm.
Walking through the main entrance I shoot a glance toward the ATM – a line of people, on Sunday? Hmmm… could've killed two birds with one stone (remembering the deposit in my purse). I stop at the bank island anyway to fill out the deposit slip. No plans to wait in line as my surprisingly capable, yet caffeine-free brain tells me to "buy the milk first" hit the ATM on the way out. I take this advice.
Milk is at the back of the store. As I hear the sound of my feet, I look down to observe I'm wearing my blue flip flops – quick glance & clothing inventory makes me smile, as even in my haste the flip flops match the blue swoosh in my tank top. Continuing my personal critique I hope no one notices my workout shorts could be less wrinkled.
Passing the freezer section, I self-consciously fidget to zip up my sweatshirt; suddenly remembering I didn't take the time to dress in more than… umm peripherals; I carefully arrange the zipper well above my neckline.
Walking quickly to the rapid cadence of my thoughts: "just buy the milk, make a deposit, get out the door, coffee's waitin'." A strange external voice interrupts.
"Excuse me; hello?" "Wait a second. Miss… "
Curiously aware that I am being summoned (wonder if I dropped my deposit?); I stop walking, a bit suddenly it seems.
As I turn around, I am practically nose-to-chest with a broad shouldered, 6-foot-something man; whose chest is umm… uncomfortably close to my zipper. I back up out of his personal space, get a view his expression, and wait for a good reason for this pause in my attempt to complete my task while sincerely lacking a latte.
I'm now watching his eyes. Although I heard him saying "I don't normally do this; it seems so forward… but I couldn't help noticing how beautiful you are when as you walked in." "Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me?"
My response was a quick thank you for his pleasantly surprising compliment; and a polite decline to the coffee date (don't need caffeine that badly).
Now I felt queasy; caffeine deprivation aside… I was going to give myself another overall inventory check; but couldn't noticing this man had already done so (a few times over). Increasingly uncomfortable with his rapid moving eyes roaming my body top to bottom; so frequently now I imagined being on a roller coaster… must be why I'm queasy.
He is rather persistent … between the milk, ATM and exiting the store he approaches three times more. Odd, how certain he is that we'd have a fun time, etc. No, really… he put a slip of paper in my hand (with his name/number) and I quickly walked out hearing him say "don't throw it away." Huh?
Is it not safe for me to buy milk alone?? Right about now I'm thinkin' spending the $3.00 at a Starbucks down the street would've worked just fine.
Walking through the parking lot I glance around for my car, and potential stalker, hoping he doesn't drive one of the billion silver SUVs … yikes!!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Whaddya thinkin?