If you only knew …

“You’ll thank me for this later…”

    Yesterday was my garage sale. I say no more. You didn’t really believe that 'no more' stuff – hah! Whew. I’m tired. I’m glad it’s over. 

   Good things happen though - my piggy is a few bucks fuller (well 3 piggys) – my boys sold stuff too. It wasn’t the boys weekend at home, but they were allowed to come 'help' for a few hours (selling their stuff for $ = good)… then returned to their Dad’s to finish out the weekend. It was a mixed bag of “so-called fun” for the boys inasmuch as: they had boring waits, hard decisions to accept less $ for their stuff, distractions as they played with friends (whose mom’s weren’t even shopping – hello?), fighting with each other and friends, talking about their beach trip with ATV (show & tell w/bruises from sand dunes – ouch), fun counting the $$, facing things that didn’t go their way… and ohhh so much more.

The most challenging moments in a day are when my boys suffer! Well I'm not squeamish over physical pain that I can take (blood no problem for me)… yet, it wasn’t that, nor was it financial, this ughhh was HEART pain. Those moments of suffering where a parent can choose to take over … or just listen (trying desperately not to cry). Oh… don’t get me wrong – I am fully capable of pulling off one big BAD full-alert whirring helicopter rescue mission to protect, kiss, and FIX whatever ails them… but what would they learn?

Yeah, not so much; I figure it’s not as critical for them to know that Mom understands what to do, has the skill to accomplish it, and even has the internal, emotional strength/courage to carry out the task… that, unfortunately, needs to be a learned self-concept for each of my babies, uhh, boys to own for himself. It’s a blessed feeling. To believe in yourself – to know and to accept the truth about self: I am brave enough; I have what it takes; I am worthy of being heard; I will make a choice to walk with my head high; I can do this without being rescued… I am not alone, but at the same time a supportive, caring parent will encourage me to step up and swing at any pitch! (Not exactly what I had when I was a kid – but I commit to not steal any opportunity from my boys.) However. This also means that I can’t grab them by the shoulders and say:

I know it feels bad now, but you WILL thank me for this when you are a man!! Yes, really you will. I know, you hate me. =( again. Nevertheless if I step in to fix it for you – rescue you from this pain – you will not learn how to do it for yourself and you may hate me now AND later. So, while you may feel a twinge of anger and hate toward me for NOT taking on your challenge for you… I still commit to give you this gift now. In the hope that you will have a blessed future and you may thank me one day, when …

• you face your challenges head-on
• you are humble enough to say sorry
• you are complimented for being a good listener
• you think before you speak
• you reach for a hand to shake rather than clenching your fist to meet another’s chin
• you live your words in your actions
• you let God take care of retribution, as you choose forgiveness
• you know each action has a consequence and you have chosen well
• you have learned that love is sometimes as simple as being quiet when you desperately want to “fix it” for that special person in your life…

Then again, I won’t hold my breath right now for such gratitude – hmmm, maybe there’s hope that some ‘future-friend or spouse’ will hug me and say “thank you” for raising such a good man!! If only they knew. . . garage sales are not all about the $$ some things are free.