Kids are so darn cute, entertaining, & surprising...

It's just not fair - they get the best lines!

Jeffrey – 8½ years old (email to mom) I love [you] for a mom! I think you are fantastik. <private> Jason can be annoying. Do you want to know why I don’t want to get married, Mom? (after a new pool move) That put bubbles in places I didn’t know I had! Can I log onto the computer to show you stick figures on crack? (after walking-in on adults discussing sex-talks for their kids)… AWKWARD (the rolling eyes and walking backward out of the room - were priceless) Mom, I can’t sleep. I’m worried that someday I have to leave and I always want you to be with me. (after a witty comment from mom) Clever, very clever. Can I have a popsicle? (about 10 times a day) Mind if I have your latte for breakfast, Mom? Is this coffee mine? (drinking half my cup) nice, but could use a little sugar… no offense. (after I made a PB&J + honey) Thanks! I love you, Mom. I don’t want to die right now; but when I am in Heaven do you think I could live with Missy (“step dog” who had recently died). (parked at the gym; said while standing outside my car door awaiting to offer his hand to assist me out of the car) You know what’s embarrassing about standing here helping you out of the car? All these people can see that you are strong enough to get yourself out without my help. (to which his brother responded) That’s true, but it’s polite and shows respect.

Jason – 10¾ years old I can’t wait until I’m 12 – then I can babysit Jeffrey while you go grocery shopping without us. Oh, that makes more sense, I thought the anus was somewhere by the esophagus. Mom, if you take us to Baskin Robbins, I’ll pay for the second scoop. (while in pool with brother on back) Look at my new backpack Mom – I’m going to take it for a swim. (figuring out a new camera) Here Mom, let me see it, I’m really good with this stuff. (reviewing a book on adolescence) Let me read the Table of Contents – I think I’d be most interested in the chapter about Falling In Love. I did that once, but I feel differently now. It would be good to read about though. Mom, when do I have to give up my stuffed animals? They are all my friends and I just can't imagine falling asleep without them. (Now – my caveat for parents who are squeamish about THAT topic – time to divert your attention to a latte or glass of wine… you may need it) Mom, did you know that over 60% of teens starting college are already having sex? I just wondered if you knew that – I read it in Readers Digest. Don’t worry, Mom, I won’t have sex until I’m an adult. (promised question from an earlier blog) What other kinds of sex are there, Mom? I know about two… (followed by) When people have sex, how do they keep from making a baby?

Answers to all questions were provided; however, their exact content not revealed to protect the writer from undue ridicule and judgment of others... or uncontrollable laughter. You realize this is the PG13 version?!!

HonuGirl