No Blog? uhhh, my excuse?

There really isn't one.   

Well then, moving on...

Christmas was nice.  Quiet. Simple. Blessed.

(yes, that really was our tree

Lego ornament and all! )

We enjoyed time with family; back to the basics.

(paying close attention while G-pa read the Christmas story)

Wow... Dad's Bible looks as old as the Christmas story.

(Jesus is the ultimate gift -  and that story remains unchanged) 

You done yet Papa Jo?

(why are there so many people here?) 

A Snoopy moment!

(but without the tail wag)

Not sure what's next...

pretty certain she can open it her way!!

I know there are more pictures than words.  But I promised no excuses and that's pretty much all I got ... unless you don't mind my ZZZZZZZZZZ.    

(oh no blog, looks like we lost her again... she's tired.)

 

I may be stuck by the snow...

but I have enough espresso and milk for a week...

(and flat cookies) 

  

 

what more do I need?

Except of course, some good company!!

Usually the elves are difficult to catch...

but I caught this one posing the other day -- perhaps a bit too cute to avoid the camera!

Mu-ah!!!

Although, I managed to venture out to get the mail (and take out recycling) today....

Drug myself through the snow, all bundled and warm... so worth it -- I had a card and a wonderfully warm gift too!  

Aww... thanks!

Proof to a friend that I've been reading!

Uh, truth is, I had a lot to say... it's just not ready to publish yet; fingers (& brain) are frozen... will type more later!   

HonuGirl

We wish you a Merry Christmas!!

CAUTION: random explosions ahead…

Confession:  I recently had a breakdown in my PMA (positive mental attitude). 

To be honest, it was a full-blown (pun intended) Hollywood-worthy, non-flammable explosion.  

You know what I mean right?  I’m sure you’ve noticed when several items (unlikely to be hazardous) randomly explode following the expected fueled pyrotechnics… it makes little to no sense that the non-flammables would immediately blow up (multiple times).   Yeah, right.

Anywho.  I just experienced this senseless, irritating to watch, certainly worse to participate in chain of events.

 

I allowed a week of “life’s inevitable changes” bring my attitude down low enough that the spark from hitting the bottom of the barrel lit a fuse that detonated (normally non-flammable) circumstances regarding icy stormy weather, Christmas shopping and time without kids and friends M.I.A. -- eww!   All I can say is that it was as worthy of attention as a predictable, pyrotechnic boring, over-priced B-movie.

 

Such erratic emotional behavior is unusual for my character, so (after sleeping most the morning away) I took it upon myself to investigate the script to determine where exactly I misinterpreted my role.  

 

I’ll save you the boring specifics and just skip to the trailer highlights…

 

It’s the first day of winter; therefore, all hopes of any warmth from that glowing thing in the sky is truly devoid of sense.  The weather is frightful and shopping is too – also not finished.  Kids are not here and seeing friends seems impossible due to weather – loneliness ensues. 

  

New translations of script:

            Take a hot shower; turn on all the lights inside the apartment – make a hot latte to warm up. 

Call friends who are also stuck at home – cheer them up and discuss what presents they have left to buy; determine what presents already purchased are ready for wrapping.  Laugh about buying same theme of gifts for nephews.

Agree to keep kids for a few hours while their Dad & GF go out to Christmas party – choose not to panic when kids don’t want to bake cookies here, but would rather wait and bake with Dad’s GF.  Rationalize that it’s because they want something new to do with that person – certainly isn’t about not wanting to bake at home with me.   (uhh, yeah – that’s the best I got on that one.)

Find a neighbor in apartment complex who (like me) is stuck at home.  Invite her with son over to bake cookies; turn on Christmas music… laugh about being mutual distractinators while losing track of ingredients and bake really flat, tasty snickerdoodles.

Find an old headset to use while talking with a Friend – slight snarky jabs enough to draw a smile, but not enough for blood.   Find website that says my office may be closed tomorrow.

Continue to wrap presents and realize that I spent the whole day without eating … do cookies count.  Ooops!

It also helps to receive a note from King G who is determined to share all the PMA he can muster to lift the spirits of this character who struggled with life’s scripted changes.   Thanks King, I'm feeling better already!

 

When life’s script is hazardous… loving friends detonate expressions of love and kindness to create random explosions of joy and gratitude.   Ka-boom!!!   Sh-bang!!!   “Pushaw!!”

Lights, camera, action... !!  

HonuGirl

Behold, I bring you good tidings of great  joy!

RIP

There is goes.   

The last day of the first week of snow uhh  w/o King ... um  of working full-time is over.    

Well, almost it's 11:55 pm Friday night.   Somehow it was suppose to be less stressful in the pre-play of this week.

I would have written more, but my fingers are frozen, my brain is fried, my feet are aching and my eyes are mere slits below my eyebrows...  a n d   I'm  lonely.

Oh yeah ... and I'm painfully aware that my body is MAD at me for missing workouts all week long!

Hmmmph!!

How's that for pessimism KL???

It's been a COLD, long week.   But all in all, it was good, I just can't remember why.

HonuGirl

My life of celebrity...

Blogger friends.  

I know you've been waiting with a proverbial worm on your tongue (baited breath, pft)...

So I've taken the liberty to upload the latest photos by the paparazzi.

Adoring fans reading a Christmas book. 

 

My co-stars in their premier... 

Snow Day ~ School's OUT!!!

                                                             Oops, how'd this get in here

...it's the cute guy in our props department!

Umm.   

My guess - a dill pickle lunch for my laundry guy.

The local 5th grade Blazers basketball game. 

No photography allowed... 

a bad day for paparazzi

So far I had   

successfully eluded those darn cameras...

oh well.

But seriously, folks...   

they caught me typing this blog.

Sheesh... how hard can it be to airbrush the photos!!!

Just another day in the life of a celeb!!  

HonuGirl

Honu perspective...

Today was my first 8-hour day of full-time work.

Well, except that one day I worked after maternity leave 11 years ago...  and 15 years of full-time before that.  

By the way… I was required to work that one day following my maternity leave in order to give my resignation in person to my Manager; he wouldn’t accept it otherwise. Personally, I think he just wanted to see me smile when I said “Goodbye!” But back to the point.

Which was… ? Uhh… saying goodbye ... not really, but we’ll go with that since I’ve had to do that recently. Friday was extremely challenging. The morning brought much sadness after boot camp. Then my blog loss (which proved to be far more painful than frustrating as I previously blogged.) It ripped the heart right outta me. Honestly, I knew it was the only hour available to blog for the whole weekend (saving time for my boys) – shockingly it coincided with having something clever, creative and caring to say. So when it rudely disappeared (without saying goodbye), the fullness of words from my deep thoughts and aching expressive heart were suddenly… negative LOST! 

These are my honu in negative.

 

Not like my perspective… tssk!

{ Hey, it’s still (barely) Not Me Monday, right? }

In fact, it wasn’t me. Truth is... my boys (one of them anyway) took this photo. 

They both like surprising me with special photos on the camera.  This time I downloaded the camera card ~ voilà I found my beautifully honu expressed in negative view.

Hummph.  Ohh how I resembled my sweet honu. Downright grumpy. Sadly irritated. Uhh extremely agitated.

I'm better now though.  I think.   That reminds me, I was talking about my first day.   

As much as today was full of firsts: · first day of the work week

· first day of my new job

· first snow of the season (well, that began Sunday)

· first snow days - no school

· first day of boyz at Mapleleaf daycare (but their dad took ‘em instead, yeah.) Friday was the day of… lasts: · last day of boot camp · last day of work at old job · last day of being home when my boys get off the school bus · last day of the last week of workouts with King And on that day of “lasts” two very dear friends left town for the entire weekend . . . leaving me alone to weather the chill of this horrible storm (literally, there was a snow storm).

I don't like cold weather.

I don't like snow.

I don't like to feel cold.

This weekend started cold, became colder, and was the coldest when closing the chapter on many good things.

I like my new job. 

I miss King G and our workouts.

I like the people at work.

I miss my friend (a lot).

I like that my boys had fun in the snow.

I miss watching them (through the window... staying warm) 

I like that there's a kitchen at work; a hot water spigot.

I miss Starbucks around the corner [skip that, they are on every corner]

 I wish it was summer -- I miss the 80-90 degree weather!

   A whole new perspective.

HonuGirl

Grrrrrrrrrrrr

I have no words to express the frustration of losing a blog.

It's not humorous when words disappear from the screen.

I just poured out my heart here ... well, over there on that empty screen in MSWord.

~

I think I'll go to work and cry now.

I wrote it for King G ... for me ...  

okay ~  now I'm messing up my mascara.

gotta go.

Since I brought it up...

Reading books bring such joy!

Jason LOVES to read!   

So far this week he's finished 

Treasure Island, 

The Picture of Dorian Gray, 

and   started a new book...

The Changling (number III in the Wormling Series).

I'm still reading that celebrity book.

Today before leaving for school he asked if he could take two of his new books (the one he just started and the next in the series).  

I said:  "Why don't you just take the one you're reading?"

His reply:   "Because if Miss B lets me read at recess, I might finish it and I want to have the next one to read on the bus ride home."

I agreed:   "Great plan.  Why didn't I think of that?"

I took my book to the gym today read it while on the treadmill.   

I feel better.  

HonuGirl

Seriously ... the inside scoop

A friend loaned me this book.

I read the first chapter… before the weekend started; just like I promised. 

The first few chapters extracted tears, laughter, quizzical moments -- it felt surreal. 

Sure it’s cliché; yet, I feel my photo slowly being transposed with the word in the dictionary with each chapter I read. 

Seriously!  (That being my newest over-used adjective.)   

I can’t adequately describe the connection between the author and myself . . .  not so much on the outside such that anyone else can observe (at the very least, she’s a celebrity - hello!  And I am - uhh, NOT {drama queen, maybe}!) 

So, I ask, how can our lives been eerily the same yet, so drastically different?

Perhaps it’s the foggy scene where she’s climbing into my journal to extract my life philosphies, paralyzing insecurities & self-concepts, snaps up my quirky decision-making processes and plucks out an emotionally imbalanced idea or two… she tosses them together with a dose of her wry wit, celeb friends, a Golden Globe award or two, and ... ta-dah!!!   A hysterical, cheeky, tear-inducing book!  

The book?  Well, I’m not ready to divulge the title yet; seriously honestly… I was a little unnerved that I was reading a book written by ... a celebrity.   

That’s what’s weird, it’s NOT the typical book I read:

self-help "in-a-minute" book for moms leadership in business how-the-heck do I do this  parenting boys for the confused mom financial tips for dummies daily devotional for closet perfectionist  kids books (with da boyz) for school   organization tips for a distractinator  how to win friends - b'cause she needs 'em

This was a book loaned to me “just for fun”… because my friend knew I’d enjoy it!

Awww.  

Thank you VERY much my Friend!!   It means you know me well (maybe too well).  

Seriously though, this doesn't necessarily mean you’ll be instantly privy to the rest of my psychosis and the 'inside scoop'; Miss Celebrity is already getting royalties for the book written from my journal pages. 

 

Just kidding, I’ll have more unpublished, non-celebrity plagiarisms soon, uhh ... 

I meant blogs!  

HonuGirl

Huh? it's Monday...

What???

I know this is cheezy and weird... 

I'm really feeling foggy today ... 

Jason took this picture.

We thought it was a good description of me today!! 

tee hee . . . 

hey, if nothing else, it made you smile!

Happy Monday!!   

HonuGirl

Insightful similie and hairless armpits...

Ever feel ill-equipped to answer kid questions?

Tonight was another heart-to-heart with my 11-year-old.  

He starts out unable to sleep.  Most kids want water or a snack... mine, just time and comforting conversation.

I willingly leave my blog viewing at the computer, my open e-mail, and on-going chat window to give my full attention to the boy who plops down to sit on my lap and says . . . "It's my heart, Mom.   It just doesn't feel right tonight." 

So the gentle inquiries begin only to discover his joy is gone.  It's not as big as it usually is... heavy, not light.  

He wants to relax on my bed and listen to the iPod (we each get an ear piece); we sing a couple tunes together.  Then he politely asks if I mind that he turn it off.

Soon followed the stories of sadness.  His friend's dog died.  Old dog; but still it's terribly sad.  She was a good dog; I'm informed that he believes she's in heaven. Of course!

He missed seeing his Dad's GF's dogs at Thanksgiving; the dogs were elsewhere on a visit (i dunno why?).

Then, he had a few other private questions about life, love and getting married; curiosity of the heart... so romantic.

After he settled from being so inquisitive, I shared how special it was to watch him growing up with such a tender heart.  I hoped his heart remained that way for a long time.

He says "it's true.  My heart is tender and delicate like an egg being held with scissors...  you must be careful or it will roll off and tumble down to crash and explode into a big mushy mess.

Wow!  

Shortly after he says... "Can you really tell, that I am growing up, I mean, uh... would you check and see if I have armpit hair?"    

Ummm, sure.  Sorry - nuthin buddy.  "Aww."

HonuGirl

Starting over...

I am really quite done with feeling sick now. Ugghhh.

It's gone full circle. Today I feel as bad as I did the first day it hit me. 

I think that's a sign that it's over. That makes sense, eh?

Yet, I'm feeling

Let's see… how will I ever catch up on the days not able to blog.

Uh-huh. Right. I won't.

I will simply draw a line and start from here.

 

---

Jason's birthday was this week. We celebrated Wednesday as he was going to be with his Dad on Thursday. I had been really excited to give him his presents – one of which I bought on craigslist months ago (iPod Shuffle).  I could only hope that he would be happy.

I say that because his wish list indicated he wanted items more than 2x the budget I had available.  Isn't that always the case?  hmmm.

However, I watched his authentic expression of surprise, gratitude and love upon opening his gift. 

He then ran out the charge playing songs all day long (sharing the earphones with his brother – too kind).

There's more... he wrote me a thank you note. 

No! I did not request one (maybe years of training to write them for family; yes I admit to that)… however, I was simply blessed and amazed by the written gift of gratitude. It makes it was worth the labor pains 11 years ago – wait, I can thank him for that too… he was so anxious to arrive the labor was only 2½ hours and a then some pushes!!! =) 

Man I love that kid!

~

Alright what if I admit to being worried that I wouldn't meet his birthday "expectations" this week? 

Fearing that he would be unhappy? 

I already knew he was "lit up" over a gift he was allowed to select for himself (at the Lego store) purchased by another gift buyer … a budget higher than he was used to … I held back my anxiety in order to acknowledge his elation and joy that he would get the Lego set he wanted for his birthday. 

Perhaps my gift would pale in comparison; but I rejoiced with him and allowed him to show it to me online; talking about how great it is and how long it will take to assemble and we even watched a video of how the landing gear and wings move!!  

Oh my -- it is a fantabulous gift -- bet you can hardly wait for your birthday?

Later, when we sat together on the couch, he said something about being excited to get that present and to spend his birthday putting it together… "I wouldn't change my life here for anything. I love you, Mom."  Along with a sweet, gentle hug.

All my fears were gone.

I didn't remember how tired and sick I felt. (Or panicked when I realized he would need songs downloaded... so I stayed up until 1am to download his favorite playlist from my iTunes.)

I didn't bemoan the fact that he would not be with me for Thanksgiving/his birthday.

There was no person to out-give or birthday present more precious than that single moment in time – words can heal the soul.

Now if only I could wake up feeling healthy in the morning.

HonuGirl