Starting over...

I am really quite done with feeling sick now. Ugghhh.

It's gone full circle. Today I feel as bad as I did the first day it hit me. 

I think that's a sign that it's over. That makes sense, eh?

Yet, I'm feeling

Let's see… how will I ever catch up on the days not able to blog.

Uh-huh. Right. I won't.

I will simply draw a line and start from here.

 

---

Jason's birthday was this week. We celebrated Wednesday as he was going to be with his Dad on Thursday. I had been really excited to give him his presents – one of which I bought on craigslist months ago (iPod Shuffle).  I could only hope that he would be happy.

I say that because his wish list indicated he wanted items more than 2x the budget I had available.  Isn't that always the case?  hmmm.

However, I watched his authentic expression of surprise, gratitude and love upon opening his gift. 

He then ran out the charge playing songs all day long (sharing the earphones with his brother – too kind).

There's more... he wrote me a thank you note. 

No! I did not request one (maybe years of training to write them for family; yes I admit to that)… however, I was simply blessed and amazed by the written gift of gratitude. It makes it was worth the labor pains 11 years ago – wait, I can thank him for that too… he was so anxious to arrive the labor was only 2½ hours and a then some pushes!!! =) 

Man I love that kid!

~

Alright what if I admit to being worried that I wouldn't meet his birthday "expectations" this week? 

Fearing that he would be unhappy? 

I already knew he was "lit up" over a gift he was allowed to select for himself (at the Lego store) purchased by another gift buyer … a budget higher than he was used to … I held back my anxiety in order to acknowledge his elation and joy that he would get the Lego set he wanted for his birthday. 

Perhaps my gift would pale in comparison; but I rejoiced with him and allowed him to show it to me online; talking about how great it is and how long it will take to assemble and we even watched a video of how the landing gear and wings move!!  

Oh my -- it is a fantabulous gift -- bet you can hardly wait for your birthday?

Later, when we sat together on the couch, he said something about being excited to get that present and to spend his birthday putting it together… "I wouldn't change my life here for anything. I love you, Mom."  Along with a sweet, gentle hug.

All my fears were gone.

I didn't remember how tired and sick I felt. (Or panicked when I realized he would need songs downloaded... so I stayed up until 1am to download his favorite playlist from my iTunes.)

I didn't bemoan the fact that he would not be with me for Thanksgiving/his birthday.

There was no person to out-give or birthday present more precious than that single moment in time – words can heal the soul.

Now if only I could wake up feeling healthy in the morning.

HonuGirl