Tuesday - Story - Part 1...

Where the heck is it? I am desperately looking for a pressure relief valve. Got relief? No kiddin'. I am about to blow off the steam and somebody could get hurt. =\ What pressure you say? Let’s see. That self-applied, stressful kind… pushing me to accomplish, succeed, inspire, achieve… “just do it” and “be all you can be.” ALL = be everything to everyone. (aka ... pressure cooker) Yes, that’s it! Nothing too big to tackle. Hah!!! Suffice it to say, I have maintained a positive attitude more often than not (really). I've held the line when my grip was weak. I've stood in the face of adversity when it was easier (not better) to succumb. And for the most precious and amazing thing: I've found the gleam of childish delight behind the eyes of two boys, whom I've never known so authentically. Personally speaking, I avoid the victim role. I’d rather be a heroine in the story. I want to uplift, encourage, believe in, support and yes, rescue others from their lowest places. I want to make a difference. Leave a legacy. Be a person of influence. I want to overflow with blessings so that I can share the excess with anyone I touch. ~ Today is Tuesday. I’m lost in thought. I ponder what image will be reflected in when life's puzzle is complete. It is my desire to create the image as it was meant to be for this new family unit of three. I am barely able to admit I have been feeling minutely discouraged; my vision is blurry. Yes, a wee bit whiny even (voice sounding slightly discontent). I’m happy. No mistake. I’m grateful. Although I am frustrated that my rose-colored glasses are tweaked; darn lenses appear old and yellow and every thing is a creepy color… worse yet, and I am not very fond of yellow. While looking at life through those yellow lenses – difficulty is easy to identify. Life’s challenges loom like treacherous mountains. The prospect of change feels as impossible as extreme sports would for the non-athletic. Just like a pressure cooker with no valve – hey, still looking here! Then come the hurdles of unanswered questions – how? what if? when? why? where? seriously? Oh fine. Since I’m being honest. Prepare for the whining: but I want to… it would be easier if … that will take too long… do I have to… whahhhhhhhhh! ~ Tonight I will remember to wear my tooth guard for grinding. So long, treacherous thoughts of Tuesday. Tomorrow, I continue my search… without glasses! "Lord, can I get some help on that pressure relief valve! Seriously!!"

So much for that heroine spirit. Sigh!

HonuGirl