Brief update ...

Some things change:

like the color and year of my CRV  ...   

    my ability to work full time ... 

         and NOT being allowed to workout at the gym ... 

Some things, well ... not so much.

I was leaving work yesterday -- after my 4 hours (limited service until doctor releases me for full-time) -- and once again amazed myself in my innate ability to lose my car; although, I do try to park in the same general area daily to avoid such confusion.

The search begins immediately as I walk out the front door, looking first toward my typical parking spots, remembering oh, that's right I arrived later and drove around.  As I survey the parking lot I give right-of-way to a car as it exits the lot... trying not to look obvious about losing track of my car.

Resolved in my mind if I start walking maybe I'll remember which direction to search; as I get closer to the vehicle parked directly across from the entry I decide it's prudent to push the unlock button on the key faub...  I will watch the lights flash and see where my car is (how clever of me, eh?)

Watching for lights I laugh ... as the one two feet in front of me is mine.   No really!!  I don't make this stuff up --  it can't get any more obvious than that!   I proceed to enter my car as though I knew it was mine all along.  Quickly apologizing to my lovely little car for forgetting what color it was and who it belongs to.   hummph.

...

And then begin the memories of those awesome days I used to workout with King G at the gym (daily, but even more miss the Fridays only now).   I would walk out of the gym and inevitably lose my car among the many SUVs in the lot ... truly surprised at how many silver ones park in the same area as mine -- and ultimately feel totally embarrassed when I would try opening the door of the wrong car.
=(    Yep, those were the days!

Ah, but now I my car is darker, its charcoal or graphite or metallic something-or-other gray ... it looks so different I have to bump into before I recognize it.   Hah!


Some things NEVER change -- at least I always enjoy a good laugh!

                 Honugirl          

Time ...

such a strange thing, Time.

I have numerous clocks around the apartment, they are set at different times.  Some exactly on time, others fast and one I'm sure is slow now {gotta remember to change the batteries}.  Yet only the boys know for sure which one's are fast/slow/on-time.   Hmmm.


~


I find it strange that I know the clocks are fast, but never re-calculate the time to be sure I'm 100% accurate that one is the fast one.


You see, there's a method to the madness of speedy clocks.  I must confess that I'm not the most efficient at getting out the door on time {thus the 5 - or is it 6? - minutes set ahead on speedy clock(s)}.


~


Yesterday was one of those mornings.  I thought, since I awoke early, worked out, found clothing to wear, ate drank breakfast, I was certain that I would be on-time!


Which seems not to be the case most mornings.


Here's the thing about mornings -- not each thing every day, but one thing almost every day -- it goes something like this:

• I load my 'stuff' into the car, get in, reach for the hot cup of coffee I should have just placed in the cup holder... realizing my hands were so full on the trip out the door, I left my 'perfect' cup of coffee on the entry table; check clock in car - not enough time to stop at Starbucks.  Grr, get out, lock car {well, my purse is in there now}, go back up the sidewalk, unlock apartment grab coffee -- you get the picture, get in car with hot coffee and "no" time to waste.

• I get half-way to the car and my bluetooth "dings" the tone that says "uhh, hello Dory, walked too far from your phone - I'm turning off now".  Auggh, go back set all my stuff down, unlock the door ... walk around looking/wondering where did I set that last????   Finally pick up home phone and call cell phone.  Duh, of course, it's on the bed under the last thing I tried on before realizing such cute stuff was TOO cold to wear.   [side bar ~ I have REALLY missed the sun, glad it's finally here.]

• Inside the apartment I am ready to go; look at the clock(s), have plenty of time.  Have all essentials: purse. phone. coffee. snacks. calendar. bluetooth. to-do notepad. other miscellaneous items girls carry and rarely admit they tote (6 lipsticks, 2 lip glosses, 1 lip liner - ok, I counted and was shocked that I still had room for my wallet); anyhow, where was I?   Oh, right...
  
  I'm ready to head to the front door all loaded up - I need keys to lock the door.  Keys? You know, those things that are always in the right spot, uhh, until you think you have all your "stuff" together.  Grr.  Set everything down look for keys.  Wish for some magical, cool, expensive gadget that makes them talk "hey, you left me by the coffee maker" or "down here - you dropped me in the wrong bag" or "Geez, Dory, I'll poke you in the butt if you sit on me."   Hmmph.  Take keys from back pocket (which seemed like a good idea at the moment - so I could carry the coffee) ... collect all the "stuff" get out the door -- no time to spare.

~

I could go on with that list but I really was going to tell you how different my story was yesterday morning:

There I was walking down the sidewalk, on-time but not too early.  I had all the stuff I needed (or cared to remember).   As I'm happily walking toward my car, smiling at the sunshine that's winking from the sky; my peripheral view alert system notifies my consciousness that a car is matching my pace.  As I approach my vehicle I catch a glimpse of the car, driving along the street parallel to me.  It's white with markings down the side, hmm, law enforcement.  I glance over again, aware that it's slowing to make the turn into the parking lot.  It's nice to know that the apartments are always monitored, I muse as I continue to load my car; only feel slightly concerned when it pulls in right next to my car. 

Well, it did pull in but now it's exiting, no - it's blocking the back of my car... I cautiously, but politely, walk over to inquire ... just then I recognize the officer -- I know you!  Hah, it's Sheriff Starr {offering his first name, yet again, but I had forgotten} hey, I noticed you're driving a different car - no more 'unmarked' car?!!  Seems my sheriff friend had been given new duties in a flashy, very obvious law enforcement vehicle.   


Now I'm thinking - wow, he's good.  How the heck does Sheriff Starr recognize me walking down the sidewalk??  I think it's been, nearly a year since our last Starbucks encounter.  We made small talk (briefly, as I'm sure I sounded edgy with precious fast second passing)... imagine that, he didn't know I lived at these apartments... well, it's not something I tell my Starbucks acquaintances.   How are things -- he's not happy, but doesn't want to complain (too much anyway ... seems there's a lot to complain about); we agree there's not much point to complaining anyway.  Hah, well, it's nice to see you ... uuhh, thanks for stopping...  when he finally says --  oh, hey, I bet you are probably heading to work -- well, I wouldn't want to make you late.  [right, thanks]   Said goodbye.


~


Exactly as I thought, checking my speedy clock in the car -- I was going to be late for sure.  Until I arrived at the office only to notice:

 None of clocks on the walls, the computer, or my cell phone read the same time!

Hah! Although I worked an extra few minutes, I'm still not sure if I was late or not...  

But I am certain that time remains a mystery to me!

HonuGirl

UP, UP & aaaa….

whooahhh wait a second – no up, up … or awaaay? 

~

Auughhh …  sploooshhh, whoosh, and whirl into a horrible vortex of thoughts … spiraling downward with such momentum – unable to swim free from the mind-trap.  


Know what…?  I hate swimming; fear of drowning in deep water — very bad mo-jo.

Cold, dazed and confused… can I wake up now?  



~


Yep, that's pretty much the sad description of an hour (or two) of my life today. 

You see, usually when my mind wanders and thoughts endlessly flood my brain, they take me daydreaming or dream-playing or something much like a helium balloon floating up, up and away; with grace and poise {no water here} I’m delicately cloud hopping; drifting aimlessly into the blue skies and hot sunny days of summer.

~

“Usually” is the key word there …

Yet, conversely my bitter vortex of groossh ( gross outpouring of sh-ouldn’t says ) was so depressing and impulsive that I almost didn’t recognize myself. 

Now that, my friend, is startling in itself; need I say more?

~

What I learned, however, is just how important it is to wake up on the “right side” of a vortex mind-trap or it will ensnare you in the spiral of aimless swill!

~

Thank God for close co-workers, BfF, and my Sweet-T who reminded me it's better not to swim alone, Dory … 

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming"

HonuGirl

Whh... ???

There's a common theme to my blog thinking lately… 

WHY? 

Why is it that I can have an ongoing mental blog while driving in the car, taking a shower, waiting in the grocery line … and even while roaming the parking lot looking for my all-too popular style SUV . . . yet, when I sit down with fingers on the keyboard, I find myself staring vacantly at my light purple very blank screen. 

That noise you couldn't possibly have heard seconds ago was my mind expressing a high screeching sound … PFFFFPFPPFPFTTTppppppppppppppppfffffffffffffffffffffhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pfpfttt … you know, like a balloon releasing air and flying about one's head.  Ever try catching a balloon as the air exits?   

 WHAT? 

What is up with that anyway? What gives? What is wrong with my blog thought retention gene? Hmmm.   What are you doing still reading this jumble of words?

WHO? 

Who said you could just sit there and laugh?  Feeling no sympathy?! Well, you're not being much help at all!  

It's not as though I am without material for blogging.  Oh, my life, my boys, my friends give me all kinds of great topics to blog; but I find it necessary to wait until the day is over to blog it all.  

However, by then I'm so wiped out from thinking at work, then catering to hungry boys after daycare, play time, home work review, shower time, reading time, night time routine to find stuff for back packs, notes for bus rides, money for lunch finally then comes bedtime (for them anyway).

WHEN? 

WHEN will I ever complete a blog without over editing or cramping my brain to remember what made it such a good topic to write about in the first place. Sheeshh!

When does a girl let go and just enjoy her new authenticity?  I'm not complaining -- I'm holding securely to all my happy smiles and the unique, funny way I see the world now, uncontrolled by a specific view (besides it wasn't my own and was rather limiting)… no regrets, no takebacks - no way!

I WONDER? 

Wondering if it's an electrical short from the keyboard that travels through my fingers, up my arms and all the way to my brainoidal blog memory – uhh, clearly there are voids or data would remain intact for future use. 

WHERE?

Where in the world do those mental blogs go when they flutter and fizzle out of my brain? You think they'd be kind enough to land on a piece of paper somewhere so I could retrieve them later, maybe let me scan them in so I don't have to worry about losing them through my finger tips. 

So the final question is:

HOW?

How in the heck am I going to recover the blog thought that disappeared as I sat down?

Great idea… I'll avoid it altogether and ramble on about next to nothing until I have vented a little frustration and can go to bed with a clear mind.

Hah! Nicely done, blog friend. 

That will work, until such time I'm in bed and poof…    that's right, I remember now! 

SUCH TORTURE!!!

 

HonuGirl

Happiness ...

although sometimes elusive – I confess to finding it at the grocery store!!

True statement!!

Last weekend I was at Trader Joe's looking for that

"special" something.

You know, that "just right" thing a girl looks for when she begins her weekend...

chocolate  + wine =

a little happiness . . .

Check it out ... they bottled it!!!    

At first I thought it was a spoof on Walmart's smiley guy... since the price was so low.  Nope!  Just an added value to the happiness project, affordability.   

heh heh --   'n Daddy said money can't buy happiness (uh, but don't tell him I bought the wine either... k?)

I liked it so much I almost bought a second bottle to take to a friend, so we could catch up on life with country music and endless laughter.   

Yeah, well anyway.

Which is just ONE reason why it makes no sense that I walked outta that store without the chocolate.  

Sheesh, Dory.    

Then again, I did just walk away with a happiness plan in a bottle!!   

HonuGirl

Payroll – I’ll take mine in black please…

It was one of those days -- where just one more thing... On any given day at any given time it takes just one more thing added to my thoughts or activities (read: added confusion) which sends an imperative note to self, any critical task or item of relative significance to life out the other side of my brain. I can’t be the only one who feels like this? (But, really I don’t want to know if I am – just in case it’s that one additional thing which will kick an important thought out – you see: I needed to pick up payroll!) When a brain is full of many things that need to get done, put on, picked up, cleaned, typed, read, moved, delivered, purchased, and places to be at certain times, not to mention… people to call, text and email (ohh and a blog… to write) -- one should not risk losing a single thought to allow distractination . This was a particularly crazy day (it was last week, although it took me awhile to blog/admit this in writing) – Dory showed up numerous times (although humorous, she was not particularly helpful). This is how it all began: Woke up late (yes, I heard the alarm – but being SO tired I hit snooze a “few” times too many) Took a quick shower (*beep* – heard text message alert on cell phone) Applied body lotion (legs can’t look crocodile-ish… eww ) Dried Hair (*press* – read text message) Applied make-up (*send* – reply to text message) [Note to self: ignore text messaging you’re late: *beep* Ohhh, another one… must read message – no get dressed first – want to read – must dress – ok, just this one.] Dressed for workout (glad I picked matching outfit night before) *beep* *press* Remembered socks, shoes *send* (yes, did forget these once – toes felt curiously cold walking to the car… in flip flops) Rushed to pack (read: stuff clothes quickly into) my gym bag (work today means presto chang-o from workout girl to employee) Zipped through the kitchen for an energy drink & food bar (skipped the vitamins – I’m late, King’s waiting) *beep*press*send* [Note to self: Call doctor about addiction to text messaging … can’t seem to ignore phone. *beep* Hey, look – a text message must read – no drive first – want to read – wait @ stop light – ok, just this one.] Only 5 (8) minutes late – whew!! Not too bad. (Put cell phone in purse … on vibrate) Drove to gym safely; similar to a speed demon with an adrenaline rush (I love my new car – weird; this speedometer doesn’t have 5’s, round to 70) **Reminder to self:

• Check business mailbox after workout on way to work.
• Pick up payroll on the way to work.

* * * * Whew!! Great workout day! power zone over. * * * * Presto Chang-o time !!! Nice – no more rushing – all is going well… (hmm, where’s my black… uh-ohhh, wait too many black things … well I’m sure I packed it)

First thought -- this is NOT good, NOT funny.

Having very strong suspicion that one particular item (which is black and supportive in nature) may actually be missing-in-action; I'm presuming it’s fallen to the bench or maybe I put my towel over it… calmly looking through the bag (again). Checking again - nope not seeing it (third time in this case, is NOT a charm – or charming – or cute even). I'm somewhat frantic now – I begin re-inventorying (yes, I’m in a locker room still awaiting attire … well, I can’t put anything else on as habitually this goes first). Shaking out individual items now: pants, top, panties, shoes (nice shoes… really like these)… nope not here. Certainly time is of the essence I will be late for my entire day if I don’t proceed to dress. FINE!!! I must submit to the fate – my black, upwardly-supportive item is NOT in the bag, or on the floor, or in my purse, or - well - anywhere here at the gym… *** At this very moment my amazing, most incredible, brain flashed the picture of where the comfy, black, upwardly-supportive item sat; there at the foot of my bed as I scooped all the clothes from the right side, placing - well, cramming quickly - (since I was late) the outfit of the day, along with open-toed lovely high heeled black shoes (I get warm fuzzies when I talk about shoes) – ahhh -- breathe, all is well, at least I packed my shoes! I might get arrested wearing just those, amazing, beautiful, black peek-a-boo, shoes … so I opted for that extra black tank from my bag ... pulled on my top (without the MIA comfy, black, upwardly-supportive item) finished dressing (aww, but I remembered my ankle bling);

Walked out to my car with sweater secured around my shoulders (what a bright, warm completely hectic morning) * * * * Heading to office now * * * * No worries – the guys rarely leave the job site to visit the office … =)

I'm only 8 (10) minutes late - whew!

**Reminder to self:

• Check business mailbox on way to work. – CHECK! (oh look, a Verizon store – I need a new headset – I'd better do that now)
• Replace headset @ Verizon – CHECK!

Where am I going from here?

What’s next – there's just one more thing ... Ohhh, look a Starbucks – THANK GOD I could use a latte. (better text that I'm coming in late)

Text to Boss "B @ offc in 10 - am l8" *send*

*beep*press* Boss says: "Y - U 4get pyroll?"

Text to Boss: "getn pyroll now! *send*

Turn around a mile from office – no time for a latte!! grrrr

Pick up payroll -- maybe they have something in black too?

Go to office with payroll; smile sheepishly about MIA black item; still desperately craving a latte!!

Yeah, that’s it – just one more thing . . .

HonuGirl

Age is of no consequence to me on this, but …

personally, I think kids are hilarious! People, in general, make me laugh ~ but besides my humorous friends (who generally tend to laugh at/with me), it’s mostly kids who crack me up! My boys are 8 and 10 – they are at the top of my list. Today, that list is the “good” list, the one where everything they do is colorfully imaginative and sometimes… shocking! Jeffrey, my youngest, is delightfully self-aware; he loves the color pink – he could wear his favorite pink shirt and camouflage shorts daily, except I insist on washing them; he knows his pet peeves #1- people who chew food near him (especially his brother), #2 - wearing socks with shoes (even worse when Mom insists), and #3 - people who sing with the radio “it’s annoying”... there are more but peeves are a whole different blog; this is the same boy who is simply unconcerned that he might miss the bus if he comes back for his ritual 3rd hug & kiss for Mom (maybe he’s a little higher on the OCD scale than the rest of us – but in the most charming way). He is delightfully witty and curious… very curious.

Jason, my eldest, is an intellectual, yet highly emotional (almost man sized) boy. He has faith in himself beyond that of any 10-year-old I know and truly believes he’s skilled enough to drive a car - if I’d let him; he’ sure if math was a sport – he’d be quite an athlete; he thinks he ‘almost’ knows everything (this is a scary thought), and he knows this for sure – God made him ‘special’, he’s just not sure what he is supposed to do about it yet. If it’s possible to be analytic and expressive simultaneously I would say Jason has mastered it. Perhaps explosively anal would be a bit harsh!! Don’t get the wrong impression… he is amazing with people of all ages. This guy can hold his own in an adult conversation and is adoringly compassionate, kind and nurturing with kids; when Jason plays in a group – he looks out for all smaller than he (wait, that’s just about everyone his age), and he appears to be the Leader of the free world in training. He can sell his ideas very well and no one cares if he follows through until it’s too late… hah!

Ahh, I feel so alive with the thoughts of how – uhhh… “exciting” and “joyful” the teenage years will be with my guys!! Woo hoo – throw your hands in the air friends, it’s gonna be a wild ride!!! I love talking about my boys… I tell stories every morning while I’m working out with King G – that of course is not his given name… although as honorable and worthy as royalty - King is my partner at the gym (just a ‘few’ years my senior). I smile, as he knows in a RealAge test that’s a true statement … in physical years I’d be stretching the truth by a few decades (no offense). He is a hero/mentor to me, a great friend, and is my encourager-extraordinaire! It helps that he manages to endure (even enjoys) the up-to-the-minute reports of “the new Adventures in the life and times of Jolene & boys.” Today is leg day… I was having a Dory moment while King was in the middle of his hamstring reps – which means I started blurting out a story about my kiddo in church. King somehow manages to keep counting his reps while listening politely to my story (told you he was my hero) I can’t even keep track when I’m focusing on each rep. The story… during the sermon, Jeffrey said he wanted to ask me a question. I leaned over to ask Jeffrey if his question could wait until after service “not really, Mom.” Fine, so I gave him the 'go ahead' nod to whisper his question in my ear – this adorable innocent, long-haired, blue-eyed child leans close and says (none too softly):

“Mom, what’s a hooker?”

Well, speaking of not being about to count my reps… I couldn’t focus on the sermon either!! The myriad of thoughts that just went through your mind upon reading his question – yeah, those were flying in and out of my mind so fast my head began to spin – Oh my WORD, did anyone else hear that? I used my typical tactic of distraction so my brain could continue researching every option, in order to offer the one answer that would produce the fewest follow-up questions. My tactic was a quick response… “maybe I should answer this after church, Buddy”… to which he mirthlessly cocked his head to the side & rolled his eyes in a questionable way (ok then, that was a 'no' – as if to remind me… but YOU said I could ask it now – my bad). However, the simplest move to not respond immediately gives my multi-million dollar brain a chance to work on THAT answer (come on, now. what? pull it together! there’s a question on the table here). Only a moment had passed, although it was a grueling disturbing one that left me wondering where did he hear THAT? And what did the preacher say that made it so pressing he had to know the answer right now? And besides, will I remember to ask him later to tell me more about it or will that bring up more questions? Then again, what TV show or movie did he watch while away for the weekend. Yikes!! Now time is of the essence ~ I gave my answer short, succinct, and boldly accurate. King laughed at how such a simple answer brought no follow up question, but a non-responsive “okay - thanks, Mom.” Then my precious boy of eight pulls his T-shirt over his knees with his feet on the chair, turned forward again and listened to the rest of the sermon. Awwww – look he’s still small enough to get his knees into his shirt, he must be cold, isn’t he cute!! (another Dory moment.)

Ohh, were you waiting for the answer too? But you already know, right? “It’s a person who gets paid for sex – that’s not a good thing.” Do you suppose I could have given the “it’s an old ship which used hooks for fishing” definition? Ugghhh, one never knows whether that’s going to confuse him – can a ship be arrested, Mom? Usually I ask for the context within which it was heard or learned – but I was under pressure – GOD was listening! I think I’m going to wrinkle prematurely from laughing at the crazy things I never knew I’d have to be an expert in when I became a MoM: Manager of Movement (also known to manage… Males, Moodiness, Mischief, Monologues, Mysteries, Munchies, Messiness, Muscles, Monsters, Madness, Music, and Magnificence… the list expands exponentially with age). Tomorrow is our shoulder routine and step class – perhaps I should share with King why Jeffrey doesn’t want to get married?

Hello ~ my name is …

Dory ~ Hi, do I know you?

To friends who know me well, I am most fondly named Dory. If thoughts of a bright blue fish swimming in circles who can’t remember where she’s going or why she’s being followed by a clown fish … that’s me well, sort of? She’s actually the character, Dory, from the movie Finding Nemo.

Before selecting a title for creating Blog about me... Alive, Aware, Amazed my other possible option for a blog title was: Hi, I'm Dory … I think? Possible posts: Oh wait until you hear this … huh, what was I saying? I’m not easily distracted, I just … oh look, pretty shoes. My morning started with a latte … wish I could remember where it is. Many Dory-isms occur in my life. It’s not uncommon that at least once a day my peeps say “good one, Dory”. I don’t try to be humorous – I’m just drawn this way! One time when I was leaving the apartment I couldn’t find my keys. (This puts me so completely out of sorts.) I always try to put them in the same place or I would never find them or be able to leave for that matter. Soon, I determined that they were not where they should be and I would have to put down my purse, my sunglasses, my workout bag and my latte to take a moment trying to remember where I set those keys… weird feeling; I’m alone, but it seems every time I take a step someone is tapping me on the butt. What the heck is going on back there – yep, I stuffed the key faub in my back pocket and the keys were dangling at my backside. If keys could talk… with each tap saying – Hey, Dory!! Check it out, your keys are behind you … no your own behind; come on girl, back here!!! And I’d be thinking ... what? ... where? Hey, wasn’t I looking for something? Oh, there’s my latte, cool. There you have it. I am very entertained by my Dory-ness … even when others are not. Sometimes, I get into full character (think blue fish) and put a ‘blank’ expression on (not too difficult for me) … I really meant to run my errands, but I sat down to type in the address of the first stop into Mapquest and I started writing this blog!! =) This is why I’ve created a new word to describe myself: Distractinator: When a distracted person and a procrastinator are one and the same! This is true of me while online. If being distracted will assist in procrastinating… it’s likely I’m being a distractinator and avoiding responsibility while having no conscious thought to that end as I am completely distracted by that “thing” which has my attention at that moment. It’s almost as if the commercial about “IT” is my life … you follow the word around until you have no idea what they were advertising in the first place. I still have no idea… I just like seeing people who love the word “IT” and carry “IT” with them through the day. Such a warm feeling isn’t it? My caveat about this blog – read at your own risk, you may become frustratingly lost in the ramblings of a distractinator.

 

HonuGirl