Now that's the real thing...

She can breathe again.

Hospitals, illness, anxiety and stress seem inseparable.

I'm child #4, daughter #2 and #1 BabyGirl -- it has been four days since I'd heard my Dad's voice; well, other than a groan or painful "uh-huh" in response to a comfort question.

I called my Mum tonight checking on his status. She happened to be at his side in the hospital room visiting with two of their dearest friends.

We talked for a short while about his comfort, ability to communicate and his medical situation. Which was a relief, as the surgeon shared today that she would like to try a different option rather than immediately offer her remarkable skills with a scalpel to his bowel.

Yeah, it didn't sound any better as an unwritten thought.

~

Dad was sleeping when I called so I didn't want Mum to wake him; I asked her to tell him how many people were praying for him and which family members had emailed me to share their love and good wishes.

As she finished another story, I asked her to tell her friends "hello" from me; she did so, and I heard each of them respond with a "hello JoJo" in the background.

... and as if he could feel my anxiety my Dad made a noise that sound like "haah" which Mum interpreted as "hi".

I was grateful and at peace hearing even that much from him; but as I was saying "tell him I love him and I'll see him soon" -- the phone had already shuffled to his mouth and I heard him clearly say "HI! and THAT's the real thing!" in an almost normal voice.

It was the most he'd said to me while I sat in his room on Sunday; to me it was like a week's worth of discussions -- whew!!

Despite the fact that I can't breathe from a darn cold caught as soon as I left the hospital -- I am breathing freely -- as Daddy's little girl feels a whole lot better!!

That's the REAL thing!!!

HonuGirl

Gaining perspective...

Today is a gift. I knew they were getting married. Although I don’t know them well, they are family. My cousin’s son and his new wife were having a reception. I didn’t go; I was committed to another event. My parents called to tell me it was lovely; how nice it was to visit with family. However, they felt sad that the bride was unable to participate in the events as her headache was severe; incapacitated she rested in the back room. Later in the week they call again to say, they received an update call from my cousin sharing that after the receiption they took the bride to the emergency room as she had not felt relief from this excruciating head pain. After numerous tests and x-rays, the doctors discovered a tumor on the brain. After this news – the marriage excitement, joy, even the honeymoon, was over. The request for prayer was announced. ~ I imagined being 26 again. Finding my true love; planning the wedding, finally betrothed, we begin the first few hours of married life.

Twenty-four hours later… I stand in the ER hearing the news that life-changing surgery is imminent for my soul mate; a tumor threatens the life of this person I love most. The one to whom hours ago I promised myself completely; agreeing always to love, encourage, protect, and share the rest of days together – now, I can offer nothing (tangible anyway).

I can’t protect, help, heal or trade places – helplessly, I wait with parents and in-laws wondering, what now?

It's surreal.

Surgery is over. Awaiting biopsy. Helpless again.

Pray for courage and more strength. Whatever the challenge... we are promised the strength to proceed.

Next step -- more waiting.

Pray for good results.

~ Suddenly I'm reminded me of the many conversations I’ve had this week with friends… complaining of my frustrations, my circumstances, even my headaches.

Now I sit with heavy heart. I cannot even compare my simple worries of life, lack of sleep, skipping workouts, and other stresses to real life-changing health challenges. ~ Today I wrote and sent cards to a few people in my life; including my cousins.

Spreading gratitude, love and encouragement... to some people who have been faithful to stand strong with me over many years.

I commit to pray for others. I commit to care more about others than myself.

I commit to sharing love in words and actions with people in my life.

I commit to expressing how important each one is to me. Today I start with you. You are an extraordinary person. No matter how far apart we are – you are special. You are loved. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I am blessed to have you in my life. I thank God for you! In the vast and amazing universe you are important to me. May you appreciate your life more today. Express openly your love to family and friends.

Always remember… you are a gift to me!

I love you!

HonuGirl